I puked a lego.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Randomize
