Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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