god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
