He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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