No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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