i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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