You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
