So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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