I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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