either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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