well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
