This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
