it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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