how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
