I smell stomach acid.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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