What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
