He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize