As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
