Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
