I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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