What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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