Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
where are my eyebrows?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
