My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
