What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
