i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
