did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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