with your own penis?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
