I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
