he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize