She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize