ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
