Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
