dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I had to cum in my sink.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
