4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize