dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
