Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize