Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
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