dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
