why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
