I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
