there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you will always have a special place in my vag
it's great music for shaving your balls
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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