literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
