Three words: puerto rican gang bang
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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