i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
