I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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