I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
