I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize