All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
