he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
