after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
