i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
