so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
