singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
