I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
