no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
