I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
