his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We have started to decorate penises.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
