all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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