whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
