You work out of a Hotel?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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