he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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