So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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