And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
