What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
