You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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