i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
