is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
