I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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