try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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